I have decided to base my blog entirely and more specifically to personal revelations I have heard from God because I feel urged to share these life-changing phrases and conversations. Although one may not relate to all of them, I pray someone might find my experiences hopeful and encouraging!
Honestly, I have entered into a sort of research phase, in which I am constantly searching and seeking God through the spiritual and the Christians in my life. I dug my nose into many books to learn and receive answers to my questions. Finally, God stopped me and asked,” My Child, why do you seek answers apart from me? Why don’t you come to me and just ask?” I basically replied and admitted it was my patience at fault. I want the answers and I want the answers as soon as possible, so I turn toward anything that might provide me with them.
Eventually, I brought to my mother, who is a huge part of my life and acts like a friend and mentor, my question regarding why I cannot always feel God’s presence… Was there something wrong with me? It was then that she explained we have moments within God’s presence which occur primarily during prayer or worship, or coming into contact with one who is anointed. She explained I was one of the lucky few that hears God on a daily basis, multiple times a day. It never occurred to me that some were struggling to hear the voice of God, even though I had spent years wondering why I could not hear him. My desire in writing this is to help.
First, I would like to emphasize just how humble our God is, that he would actually speak directly to us sinners. Often times, I will say, “Speak to me, my God,” and faithfully he replies. I have had moments when God does not actually reply until days later, or sometimes he replies through people or events. Just today, I asked, “Why can only some hear your voice regularly?” He brought me back to a conversation I had with my mother in my younger years.
My mom, upon being told I was struggling, left the house to pray, and she prayed faithfully for me for quite a time before returning. She said that God revealed to her that my heart was not completely open to the Lord. What does it mean to be open to the Lord, and how can one become open to him?
To remain open to God is to continuously surrender. One might surrender everything one day and unconsciously hold tighter the next. Surrender is constant. With us and our free will, we can surrender one day and decide the next through our attitudes, speech, and action to actually take back what once was ours. The first step in opening ourselves to the Lord is simply saying, “God, your will be done.”
From there, we can commit to our surrender by dying to ourselves and serving God, but I want to stress that God’s ultimate desire is for us to wholeheartedly seek him. I have found out after years of serving God that anything I do apart from him is worthless and counts for nothing. We can only genuinely do good deeds without falling into a pattern of works earning salvation by acting because of, with, and by the Spirit for the Lord. A relationship is required for our hearts to become pure and motivated to do works for the glory of God? How else can God change our hearts, if we have put up walls to separate us?