My childhood was weighed down by the burden of depression, and quite a toll was taken. By high school, I had attempted suicide four times. I self-harmed for four straight years, yet the gloomy skies never cleared. The black pit in my stomach grew in size and strength until all I was capable of accomplishing was a day in bed.
I had no idea how I could overcome this battle, until my family, upon reaching awareness of my condition, directed me, once again, to God. I sought the Lord, on my knees, day after day for the sake of receiving healing. He proceeded to point me to the scriptures: Nehemiah 8:10 and Micah 7:8. I memorized these scriptures and asked for the Spirit to engrave it in my heart and provide me with understanding.
I found healing in the Word of God, for faith comes from hearing the message (Romans 10:17) and the truths found within the Word set me free (John 8:32). The truth is the truth of God’s unconditional love, in which there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18). God, in his own, perfect time will make known the perfection of his love and provide restoration.
The Lord once told me during one of my darkest days,” Have faith, Little One, for I am coming to bring you home and restore you.” Upon believing in Christ as the Son of God, the only possible Savior, we will be brought home to Christ himself.
And now I rejoice in my survival of said suicide attempts because I know he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jerimiah 29:11), and he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).