I have struggled with depression for my entire existence. However, my teenage years were discovered to be the most suicidal, for I was attempting to decide who I desired to be and that which I wished would happen or occur in my future. I was often confused about my desires and wishes and left with little hope. I felt hopeless. I was despairing.
Rarely was I alone in my house, but when I was, I would lie in bed and sob, contemplating suicide, longing for a reason to live. I knew I was broken and hurting. The pain resulting from years of abuse was evident. But I did not know God was present in my suffering until one particular afternoon, when I cried out to God.
I questioned why I was forsaken to a life of pain and misery and why I was suffering so intensely. I explained to God I was tempted to end my life. It was then that my heart was stilled and I felt a huge burden lifted from my shoulders as he said, “Have faith, Little One, for I am coming to bring you home and restore your broken heart.” It was these words which aided me in surviving my depression.
I have a hope. My hope rests with and is in Jesus, who provides comfort and love in times of trouble. He will return to rescue me from all distress, but honestly, he is, in spirit, right here with me at this moment and during times of suffering. So I will have faith that he cares for my pain and wishes to heal me, in his own, perfect time.